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  Inodded.

  Hegaveanodinreturnandtookastepbackawayfromthedoor, clearingapathforme.Seanplacedhishandonmylowerbackand guidedmeforwardtothelandingthendowntothesecondfloor.Hishand neverleftmeasweenteredtheapartmentorwhilewemadeourway downtomybedroom.Whenheclosedthedoorbehindhim,atinyjoltof fearshotthroughme.

  “Howlonghaveyouknown?”heaskedquietly.

  “Thedaybeforeyesterday.Sean,Ihadeveryintentionoftellingyou whenyoustoppedbythestore,but―”

  “Ididn'tletyou,”hereplied,cuttingmeoff.“Iknowyousensedmy angerupstairs,Ruby,butitwasnotforyou.Ididn'tletyoutellmethe otherday.Icannotholdthatagainstyou.”

  Iwasfloored.ThatwasnotthespeechIwasexpectingtogetatall.

  Itwasalmostimpossibletoprocess.

  “Soyou'renotmadatme?Atall?”

  “No.”

  Anervouslaughescapedme.

  “DoyouthinkI'llgetoffthiseasilywithCooper?”

  Heshotmealookthatsaid,“You'llgetawaywithwhateverItell himyoucangetawaywith.”Pointtaken.

  Islumpeddownontothebedandproppedmyelbowsonmyknees, droppingmyheadinmyhands.Seanmovedtowardsmesilently,butI felthisapproachasIalwayscould,hisbodycallingtomineinthemost inexplicableway.Histallframeblockedthelightaboveasheloomed overmelikeadark-eyedangel.Inasense,hekindofwas.WhenIfinally liftedmyheadtoseehim,hiseyesdisplayedamuchlightershadeof greenwhentheymetmine.

  “Imissedyou,”hesaidsoftly,cuppingmyfaceinhishand.I pressedmyfaceintohistouch,soakingupeverybitofit.

  “Imissedyoutoo.”

  “IhadaneveningplannedforustheothernightbeforeIwasso rudelypulledaway.CanImakeituptoyou?”

  “Well,sinceIhadn'tknownweweregoingtobedoinganythingat alluntilafteryoutoldmewecouldn'tgo,I'mnotsureyouneedto,butI'll takeit,ifyou'reoffering.”

  Islowlystoodupbeforehim,leavingourbodiesinchesfromone another,stillconnectedbythatsinglehandtomyface.Thenhislipswere onmine,lightandsweetasifhehadn'tbeenreadytodomurderous thingsonlyminutesearlier.Hetrulywasatwo-sidedcoin―aproductof twodiametricallyopposedparents.

  “ThenIshouldgo,”hemumbledovermymouth,notwantingto breakourkisstoexplain.“Ihavetogetafewthings...”

  Myheartcartwheeledaroundinmychest.

  “Okay,”Irepliedbreathily.

  “I'llbereadyforyouinanhour.”

  I'mreadyforyounow...

  Helookeddownatmeandlaughed,undoubtedlyknowingwhatI wasthinkingbecause,truetoform,itwasplasteredallovermyface.

  “I'llbethere,”Ireplied,tryingtoplayitcool.

  Helaughedalittlemore.

  “I'llbebacktogetyou,”hesaidasheheadedtowardthedoor.

  “IthinkI'llwalk,ifthat'sokay.I'vegotsomethingsofmyownto do,youknow. Importantthings,”Itoldhimwiththeslightesthintof mocking.Imaynothavebeenassmoothashewas,butIcoulddo sarcasmlikenobody'sbusiness.ItwasthenextbestthingasfarasIwas concerned.“I'llmeetyouatyourplaceinanhour.Maybe.MaybeI'llbe fashionablylatejusttokeepyouguessing.”

  Againwiththelaughter.

  “Ruby,”hesaidwithavoicesmootherthansilk.“Youwon'twantto belate.”

  18

  Hewasright;Ididn't.But,asluckwouldhaveit,Iinevitablywas.

  Evenaftertheshenanigansupstairs,Ireturnedtoworkwithout Peytatofinishouttheday.Cooperstormedintothestoreaboutten minutesafterIreturned,nonetoohappyaboutwhathehadjust witnessed.HecalmeddownuncharacteristicallyfastwhenIpointedout thathewastheonewhoshutmedownwhenItriedtotellhimabout Matty.Hewasn'thappyaboutit,butheadmitteditwashisfault.I'd gottentwoofthoseinoneweek,andIwonderedwhenthethirdwould drop.Things alwayshappenedinthrees.

  BythetimeIkickedhimout,Ionlyhadhalfanhourlefttocleanup andclosedownthestore,runupstairs,andgetmyselfready.Ittookan hourandahalf. Thirtyminuteslateandcounting. Afrantictextonmy wayoutofthehousetoSeanwasthebestIcoulddotoremedythe situation.

  Theairwasbriskwithanedgeofhumiditytoit.Ifthetemperature haddroppedanyfurther,snowwouldhaveinevitablyfallen.Ipulledmy coattighteraroundmeandburiedmyfacedeepinmypinkhand-knit cowlwhileIranthroughthedowntownstreetsinanefforttomakeupfor mytardiness.IwasmakinggreattimeuntilIhitSean'sblock.

  That'swheneverythinggotderailed.

  IroundedthecornerrightintoGavin,whostoodwaiting―waiting for me.

  “Ruby,”hesaid,lookingdownatme.Hewasparadingaroundashis youngerself,theonewho’dpulledmefromthebaywheretheRevhad attemptedtoplantmedeepbelowthewater'sedge.Istillwasn'tusedto seeingGavinthatway,soittookmeamomenttorealizewhohewas,and Istifledascreamjustintime.

  Inretrospect,maybeIshouldn'thave.

  “Gingermentionedshesawyouwiththedark-eyedone.

  'Canoodling'wasthewordsheused,Ibelieve.”Hiseyeswerehardand shrewd,attemptingtoprymyheadopenandsearchfortheanswers himself,knowingitwaslikelyeasierthanconfrontingmeforthem.

  “Soshe'sspyingonmetoo?Awesome.Iwouldhavethoughtshe wasabovebeingyourlackey,”Isnapped,tryingtosteparoundhim.

  Quickaslightning,hisarmwasout,blockingmyway.

  “Gingeradoresyou,and,ifIwereyou,I'dwatchhowyouspeak abouther.”

  “Sweet!We'regoingtoskiprighttothreatsthen,arewe?”

  “Ifneedbe,”hegrowled.Heloweredhisarminanattempttolessen thetensionbetweenus,butasfarasIwasconcerned,wewereway beyondthat.“Gingertoldmethatshesaidsomethingsheshouldn'thave.

  She'sveryprotectiveofme,Ruby.Youmustn'trileheruplikethat.”

  “Shedid.Somethingaboutextinctionandhowyouapparentlysaved theday.Funnythatsheclammedupassoonasthewordslefthermouth.I couldn'tgetathingoutofherafterthat.”

  “It'snotherstorytotell,”hesaid,leaningincloser.“AndI'lltellit whenandifIchooseto.”

  “Well,unlessyouplantodoitrightnow,I'mlate,”Iinformedhim, shootingaglanceupatSean'sbuilding.

  “You'renotmakingthiseasyforme,Ruby,”hesaid,closingthe distancebetweenustoanintimategap,ourbodiesnearlytouching.“I'll havetotryhardertoconvinceyou.”Hishandgraspedmyelbow.Itwasn't anuncomfortablepressure,butwhatcoursedthroughmeasaresultwas.

  “Heisyourenemy― ourenemy.Doyouunderstandme?”

  Ishookmyhead,tryingtoclearthefuzzysensationthatwas wrappingaroundit,suffocatingmyrationalthought.Myheartwarred withmybrain,eachtellingtheotherthatitwasright.Loveversustruth.

  “No,”Isaid,snatchingmyarmaway,“Idon'tunderstand.Ifyou wantmetobelieveyourcreepyramblings,thengiveme answers,not morequestionsforonce.Anddon'ttalkaroundshiteither.I hatethat.

  YouwantmetostayawayfromSeanthengivemesomethingsolid.Tell me whowouldhavebeenextinctwithoutyou.”

  “No,”hereplied,lowandmenacing,“butI'lltellyouwhodidthe eradicating.Ibelievehe'supstairswaitingforyourightnow.”

  Hereachedintohispocketandpulledoutaphoto.Itwasoldand weathered.Hehandedittomewithoutexplanation.

  Thepicturewasofastunningraven-hairedwomanwhowouldhave beenaroundthirtyatthetime.Besideherwasatowheadedtoddlerwith wild,untamedcurls.Itwashardtomakeoutunderthestreetlamp,but aroundthemwasapale,hazyglow.

  “Whatisthis?”Iasked,tryingtomakesenseofhisoffering.

  “Agoodfaithtoken.”

>   “Andhowisitthat?Idon'tevenknowwhothisis.”

  “That'syou,”heexplainedwithanirritatedtone,indicatingthe child.“And that,”hesaid,pointingtotheyoungwoman,“issomeonethat Icouldnotkeepsafewhenthetimecame.”Hisenergyfellheavily aroundme.Therewastruesadnessbehindhiswords.“Keepthisfor now,”hecontinued,hisvoiceslippingbackfromthedistanttoneithad justheld.“Youhavesofewmementosofthehappiertimes.”

  Withthat,hestartedtowalkaway.

  “But whoisshe?”Ipleaded,beggingtoknow.Mychildhoodhad alwaysbeenablacked-outblur,andIwasdesperatetoknowjustwhothe mysteriouswomanofmy“happiertimes”was.

  “Whenyou'rereadytobelievetheworstofthedark-eyedone,ask him.Heknows.”

  “He'snot alldark,Gavin,”Iargueddefensively.“He'sequalparts darkandlight.”

  Gavinwhippedhisheadaroundtostaremedown,further emphasizingtheimportanceofthepointhewasabouttoimpressupon me.

  “He ispartangel,Ruby,”heagreed,hiseyesmenacingand mocking,“butdoesthatimplyhe's good?Youseemquicktobaseyour favorableopinionontheillusionthatangelsareallcreaturesofthelight.

  Butwhathappenswhenthatlighthasbeensnuffedout?”Hepausedto assessmyreaction,searchingforasignthathewasgettingthroughto me.“Iwonderjusthowconvincingyourillusionwillbewhenyourfaulty logiccrumblesfrombeneathit.”

  “Soyou'resayingthereare badangels?”Iaskedincredulously.

  “Yes.TheDarkOnes.Theyarethethingsthatnightmaresaremade of.”

  Anervousscoffescapedme.

  “Isn'tthatwhatyousayaboutSean?Thathe'swhatnightmaresare madeof?”

  AbroadandsatisfiedsmilecrossedGavin'sface.

  “Oneandthesame,Ruby,”hecalledoverhisshoulderashewalked away.“Theyareoneandthesame...”

  19

  Istoodaloneinthestreet,staringinthedirectionwherehehad disappearedintothenight.Withtheinnocuousphotographstillinmy handandvisionsofanevilSeanetchedintomybrain,thebarrageof questionsstartedtoracethroughmymind,noneofwhichweregoingto beansweredanytimesoon.Gavinwasscheming,butIdidn'tknowwhy.

  ApparentlyIknewthewomaninthepicturebuthadnocluehow.Worst ofall,Seanallegedlycouldtellmewhoshewas,but,somewheredeep downinsideme,aseedofdoubthadbeenplanted.Washeas dichotomousasIthoughthewas?Aproductofbothgoodandevil?DidI reallywanttoknowthetruthifitmeantcollapsingthehouseofcardsthat SeanandIhadsoprecariouslybuilt?WasthatallGavinwastryingtodo, and,ifso,why?Towhatend?

  Ineededtofigureouthisendgameandfast.

  AsIlookeddownatthepictureonelasttimebeforetuckingitinto mycoatpocket,Iwonderedaboutthestunningwomanwholookedso happytobestaringdownatme.I'dneverrememberedfeelingoverly lovedasachild,andjudgingbythepurejoyinherface,shelovedme morethananything.ShelookedatmethewayKristylookedatLouie.

  Forcingthosethoughtsaside,Imademywayacrosstheroadand overtoSean'sbuilding.Insteadofagrowingsenseofanticipationwith everystep,allIfeltwasdoubtovertakingme.ItpissedmeoffthatIwas lettingGavin'smindgamesgettome,andIwonderedwhyIlethimplay thematall. Answers.Hehasanswers, Iremindedmyself . Supplyand demandwasabitchwhenthesupplierhadawarpedsenseofhowto distributetheinformation.

  Withleadenfeet,IclimbedthestairstoSean'sapartment.

  Hesitatingbeforethedoor,IswallowedmylingeringinsecuritiesasbestI could,hopingthatIcouldovercomethem.Lovecouldconquerall, couldn'tit?

  BeforeIcouldknock,hewasthere,smilingdownatmewiththe faceofanangel. Lightordark, Ifoundmyselfwonderingasthe happinessslowlybledfromhisexpression.

  “ What'swrong ?” heasked,steppingouttomeetmeonthelanding.

  Itookastepback.

  Ineededtogetaholdofmyselfbeforeirreparabledamagewas done.LettingGavin'scuriousriddlesplaguemymindwasnotawayto live,norwasitfairtoSean.Hehadnowaytodefendhimselfagainst Gavin'sambiguousaccusations,andIhadnointentionofgoingtoSean withanythinguntilIhadmoresolidevidence.Allthatwouldprovewas thatIdidn'ttrusthim.Aftereverythingwe'dbeenthrough,Iowedhim morethanthat.Andyet,onesinglephotographthreatenedtoundoit all―aphotographandanunsettlingfeelingthatGavinattachedtoit.

  Somethingwasn'trightaboutthesituation,andcomehellorhighwater,I wasgoingtofigureoutexactlywhatbeforeitswallowedmewhole.

  “I'msorry,”Isaid,shakingmyheadalittleforclarity.“It'sbeena longday.CanIcomein?”

  “Ofcourse,”hereplied,steppingbackintotheapartment.He watchedmeacutely,nodoubttryingtoreadmeliketheopenbookhe alwaysfoundmetobe.Foronce,itlookedasthoughmynovelwas closed.

  “I'msorryI'msolate,”ItoldhimasIslippedoutofmycoat.

  “Iexpectedyoutobehereabouttenminutesago.Iwasgetting mildlyconcerned.”

  Youshouldhavebeen...

  “IgothungupafterItextedyou.I'mlivinginabitofamadhouseat themoment,ifyouhadn'tnoticed,”Iexplained.“It'sahindranceof sorts.”

  “You'rewelcometostayhere,”heoffered,headingtothekitchen.

  “Youknowthat,right?”

  Ismiledinside.

  “Idonow.”Imovedtojoinhimatthestove.Heturnedquicklyto interceptmeasIpassed.Igasped,momentarilystartledbythespeedof hismovement.Itwasn'tbecauseIwasstillthinkingaboutwhatGavin hadsaid―notatall.

  “Somethingisbotheringyou,”hesaidmatteroffactly.“Tellme whatitis. Please.”

  “Ijusthavealotonmymind.”

  “Icanseethat,Ruby.WhatIwanttoknowis whatisonyour mind.”

  Noyoudon't.

  “Ihaveafeelingthatyouofallpeoplewon'tbeabletorelateto whatI'mabouttosay,buthereitgoes,”Isaid,takingadeepbreath.“I alwaysfeellikeIhavemorequestionsthananswers,Sean.I'mnotquite surehowtosettletheconstantly-runningstateofmymind.It'swearing onme.I'mnotsleepingwell.It'sstartingtoaffectmymood,myvision, myweight...”

  Heeyedmetightly,assessingbothmeandmystatement.

  “Changeofplans,”heannouncedunexpectedly.“You'reeatingthen goingtobed.Andnoarguing,thoughI'msureitwillpainyougreatly.”

  Istaredathimintotaldisbelief.

  “You'renotgoingtointerrogatemeaboutwhat'srunningthrough mymind?DemandtoknowwhatquestionsIsodesperatelywantanswers to?Nothing?”

  “No,Ruby.I'mnot.”Helookeddownatmewithgenuineconfusion.

  “You'vebeenhonestwithmesinceyou'vebeenback.Youofferedme informationwithouthesitationtheotherdayanditwasIwhodroppedthe ball,”hesaid,pressinghislipsgentlyagainstmyforehead.“Iloveyou.I trustyoutoo.Now,let'seatbeforeyougetanythinnerandputyoutobed.

  Itmaynothavebeenmyoriginalgameplanfortheevening,butI'msure Icanmakeitinterestingnonetheless.”

  Withoutawaitingmyresponse,hetookmyhandandledmetothe barstoolbythekitchenisland.Aplateofgourmetsomethingorotherwas infrontofmebeforeIcouldliftautensiltoeatitwith,andthenhewas besideme,eatinghisdinnerasthoughwewereanordinarycouple, stayinginonaFridaynight.

  Istaredathimforamomentinsilencewhileheatewiththegrace ofroyalty.Thenormalcyofoureveningwasunsettling,andinsteadof puttingmymindatease,itonlyseemedtodisturbmefurther.Didhe knowwhatIwasthinkingandwanttothrowmeoffbydoingtheopposite ofwhatIexpected?Washiscalmfaçadeallanact?Ireacheddowndeep tofeelforanyundercurrenttohisenergy,butfoundnone.AllIgotfrom himwaseaseandcontentment.

  “You'restaring,
”hemutteredbeforetakingthefinalbiteofhis food.

  “I'mamannerlessheathen,”Isaidsarcastically,snappingmygaze backtomyplate.“Youshouldknowthatbynow.”

  “Iknowalotaboutyou,Ruby.Almosteverythingthereistoknow, butyoustillsurprisemeonoccasion,”hereplied,turningtolookatme.I keptmygazefirmlyaffixedtomyplate.

  “Ithoughtitwasagoodthingtokeepamanguessing.Isitnot?”I askednervously,pushingmyfoodaroundwithmyfork.

  “Withyou,onecan'tbetoocertain,”hewhisperedinmyear.“But I'mmorethanwillingtotakemychances.”Mybreathcaughtinmy throatasIturnedtolookathim.Hisbrightgreeneyeswereplayfulas ever.“Ifyou'redonewithyourfood,Ithinkit'stimetogetyouoffto bed.”

  Hescoopedmeupoutofmychairandcarriedmetohisbedroom wherehelaidmedowndelicatelyonthebedandstartedtoarrangethe coversaroundme,tuckingmein.

  “I'mflyingsolo?”Iasked,surprisetaintingmyvoice.“Idoubtthat waspartofyourgrandschemefortheevening.

  Hisbrowfurrowedslightly.

  “No.Itwasn't,”hereplied,“butyou'reexhausted,andIwantyou well.”

  “Thanks,”Iwhispered,thinkinghisgesturewassurprisingly nurturing.

  “Don'tthankmeyet.Imighthavetowakeyouupearlytomakeup forfallen-throughplans.”

  “Deal,”Iagreed,pushingupoutofthebed.

  “Andwheredoyouthinkyou'regoing?”

  “Thebathroom,unlessyou'dpreferItakemychancestonight.”

  Helaughed.

  “Go,”heordered,pointingtothebathroomdoor.“Ihavetomakea phonecallanyway.I'llbejustoutsidetheapartmentifyouneed anything.”

  Hestartedtomakehiswaytothelivingroom,andIwatchedashis casualposturemorphedintoamorebusinesslikeonewitheverystep.I knewthatIdidn'twanttoknowwhatthatcallwasabout,and,foronce,I didn'tbothertoask.Foronenight,Iwashappytopretendthateverything wasokay.

  Butitwasn't.

  ThenightmaresIenduredthateveningabouttheunknownwoman inthepicturemadesurethatIrememberedthatfact.