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  Ididn'tknowwhattosay.Herpointswerevalid,herfeelings warranted.Icouldn'thelpbutthinkhowIwouldhavereactediftheshoe hadbeenontheotherfoot.Myguesswasnotnearlyaswellasshedid.

  Shemayhavegoneoffonhim,butshe'dstillheldsomemeasureof composure.Iwouldn'thave.

  “So,I'mgoingtoheadout,”sheinformedme,rockingbackonher feetslightly.“ButI'llbebacktomorrow.Maybehe'llstopbythen...and maybeI'llhavecalmeddownaboutitbythentoo."

  “Soundslikeaplan.”Iforcedasmile,hopingthatshewasright aboutMatty.“Goseeyourmom.Ibelieveyoustillhavethingstotell her."

  Shesmiledtightlyandnoddedonce.

  “Comehere,”Iorderedbeforescoopingherupintoabighug.“Tell hereverythingtoo.SheneedstoknowthatyouandJayarehavingissues.

  Thisisn'ttimetoskimponthedetails."Sheshotmeadubiouslook.

  “Well,yes,skimpon thatdetail.Westilldon'tneedherknowingabout thePC.”

  “I'llmanagetoleavethatoneout,”shejokedweakly.“I'llseeyou tomorrow.”Sheturnedawayfromme,headingtowardthedoorbefore stoppingjustshortofit."And,Ruby?Ireallyamsorryaboutmy meltdown.IfIcanhelpyousaygoodbyetotheMattyyouclaimheis,I'll doit.”

  “Peyta,Iamhardlyonetotalkwhenitcomestoepicmeltdowns.If youneedto,meltaway,mydear.I'mtotallygoodforit."

  Shegiggledasshewalkedthroughthedoor,tossingaparting goodbyeoverhershoulder.Thoseshoulderswerecarryingalotof weight.Ihopedshewasonherwayovertohermother'stounburden them.

  *

  Hourslater,Ifoundmyselfmindlesslyplayingwithatrioofsilver hammeredbeadsonthefrontdesk.Icouldn'tmanagetodoanythingthat requiredfocusonanylevel.Mymindwasamillionmilesawayin ClusterfuckLand,tryingtosortthroughallthecrazinessinmylife.Ihad beenworkingundertheimpressionthattheCFlistandIhadfinally brokenup.PerhapsIjumpedthegunonthatassumption.

  BythetimeIwasentirelytoofrustratedtostayattheshopany longer,Iputanoteuponthedoorsayingthatwewereclosingearlyand lockedupbehindme.Theunseasonablycoldweatherwasstillgoing strong,butI'dplannedaheadforonceandbroughtmydownvestand mittenswithmetowork.Islippedthemonoutsidethedoorandtookoff towalkthroughtown.ItalwaysbroughtmeclaritywhenIneededit,and IhopedthattrendwouldcontinueasImademywaydowntothedocks.

  TherewasonemorepersonIneededtoseesincemyreturn.

  ThewindwhippeddownthewindingstreetsofPortsmouth,stinging mycheekstoarosypink.ItfeltrefreshingandwasexactlywhatIneeded tobolstermyresolve.WhenIroundedthefinalturnbythewaterfront,I lookeddownattheboatsinthemarina―andmyheartsankinstantly.The houseboatwasgone.

  Sighingheavily,Iproceededdowntothedockanyway.Itbrought forthawaveofbittersweetemotions.Ihadnearlydiedtherethankstothe keenandsociopathiceffortsoftheRev.Gavinhadbeentheonetosave me,butintheaftermathofhisefforts,hecausedawholenewdilemma forme.Forwhateverreason,heseemedhellbentonwarningmeoffof Sean,anditalmostworkedforafleetingmoment.Almost.

  Ihadcomebacktogetthoseanswershepromisedmeandtofind outonceandforallwhyhehaditinforSeansobadly.Itwasclearthat Gavinwasn'ttellingmesomething,butthe whatwasagnawingquestion markinmymindthatneededtobeerased.Forgood.

  Unfortunatelyforme,Iwasn'tgoingtogetmuchofanythingoutof someonethatwasn'tthere.Frustrated,Iploppedmyselfdownattheedge ofthedock,makingsuretokeepmyfeetwellabovethewaterline.Not onlywasitwaytoocoldtodipmyfeetinto,butitwasalsojustalittle toosoonaftermyneardrowningwiththeRevtotemptfate.

  Iknewhowmuchfateadoredme.

  AsIstaredoffintotheharbor,searchingforanswersthatweren't there,afamiliarvoicenearlyscaredmerightoutofmypants―andinto thewater.

  “Idon'tthinkthatwentsowellforyalasttime,missy.Idon't suggestyabetryingityetagain.”

  Gavin.

  Iturnedtofindtheagedversionofhim,cockinghisheadatmein mocking.Hehadpouredtheaccentonprettythick,makingmealittle concernedthatheandIweregoingtobestartingoffonthewrongfoot, justasIhadwithnearlyeveryoneelseuponmyreturn.AsfarasIknew, Gavinonlyspokewiththataccentwhenhewasgoodandriledup.

  Iseemedtohavethateffectonhim.

  “Wasn'tplanningonit,”Ismiled,pullingmyselfupcarefullysoas nottorepeattheimpromptuswimhewasimplying.Ididn'tthinkitwas likelythatScarlethaddecidedtotakeswimlessonsduringthethree weeksshetookoffandheldmecaptiveinmymind.

  “Ihaven'tseenyouaroundhereforawhile...”Hetrailedoffatthe end,leadingmetoofferupanexplanation.

  “Yeah,well,itseemsthatItookanunplannedvacationofsorts.”

  “Indeed.Thekindthatrequiresteamsofpoliceandvolunteersto dredgeupPortsmouthHarborandthegreaterportionofthelowerCharles River,"hesaid,narrowinghiseyesslyly.“Ithinkyouneedabettertravel agent.Theoneyouhavedidashitjob.”

  “Noargumentsonmyend.”

  Iwonderedjusthowmuchheknewaboutmylittlethreeweek disappearance,butIdidn'twanttoofferupanythingmorethanIneeded to.Iwastheretogetanswers,notgivethem.Instead,westaredateach othersilentlyforamoment,neitherseemingtowanttobudgeontheir agenda.

  Finally,Icaved.

  “Igotyournote...”

  “Didyounow?”hemocked,dialingtheaccentbacktohisnormal Americanone.Ihopeditwasagoodsign."Didyouactually readit?

  Seemsitmighthavesavedyousomegrief.”

  “Howdoyoufigurethat?”

  Hesmiledwide.

  “Thedark-eyedonehasabitofatemper,doesn'the?Evenwith you.”Mymouthhungagapeinresponsetohiswords. Howcouldheknow that? “Iwarnedyouabouthim.I'mwonderinghowlongitwilltakefor youtodecidethatI'mtellingthetruth.”

  “Probablyaboutaslongasittakesyoutogivemesomethingsolid togooffofasfarasevidenceisconcerned.Ormaybeonceyoustop talkinginriddlesandactuallyexplainindetailwhyyouthinkhe'sbad newsforme,"Iquipped,irritationtaintingmytone.“Eitherwouldbe fine.”

  “Andthat'sexactlywhatI'dplannedbeforeyourlittleescapade,or shouldIsay, Scarlet'slittleescapade?”

  Myirritationstartedtobleedtoanger.Evenwhenheshouldn't, Gavinseemedtohavealltheanswersabouteverything,andIhadnone.It feltliketheearlydaysofSeanandme,minustheanimalattractionand occasionalflirting.

  “Icameheretotalktoyou.Ifallyou’regoingtodoisbeanall-knowingprickabouteverything,I'llleave,"Isaid,startingtomakemy waypasthim.“Idon'tsupposeitreallymattersanyway.You'llknow wheretofindme.”

  HecaughtmyarmjustbeforeIwasoutofreach.

  “Youmaynotlikemymethods,Ruby,butIcanassureyouthat everythingIdoforyouisinyourbestinterest."

  “Hmm,thatsoundsoddlyfamiliar.IthinkI'vehearditbefore,”I mocked,rollingmyeyesupandtotherightasthoughcontemplating something."Oh,that'sright.Ibelievethe' dark-eyedone’hasusedthat lineonmeatimeortwo,and,correctmeifI'mwrong,heistheonethat you'rewarningmeagainst,no?”Myobservationwasmetwithasour look."Interesting.ShallIholdthatagainstyoutoo?”

  “Idon'tcareforyourtone.”

  “AndIdon'tcareforyourdoublestandards.”

  “Youseemtobeawfullyfondofhis,”hepurred,hisvoiceand energylacedwithdisdain.“AndIdon'trecalleverthreateningtokillyou.

  Wouldthatbehelpful?Wouldyoubemorelikelytolistentomethen?"

  “No,”Irepliedflatly,“Iwouldn't.Seancanpullthatoff.Youcan't.”

  “Yes,it'sactuallyquiteamazi
ngthefeatsthatSeancan' pulloff'

  whenhe'smotivated.IthinkI'lltellyousomeofthosestoriesabouthim soon,butnottoday,”hesaidcondescendingly.“You'renotreadytohear themjustyet."

  “Wellthen,whyarewestillheretalking?You'renotgoingtotell meanythinghelpfulandI'moverit,so...?"

  “Tellmesomething,Ruby.DidyousleepwithSeanthenightI warnedyouabouthimjusttospiteme,orhadthatbeenontheagenda fromtheget-go?"

  Myskincrawledaseveryhaironmybodystoodatattention.

  Apparently,thelistofthingsheknewaboutwasfarlongerthanIhad bargainedfor.

  “Likeit'sanyofyourfuckingbusiness.Howcouldyoupossibly even―”

  “You'reeasytofollow.Youdon'tpayanyattentiontoyour surroundings,and,foryourinformation,Iwastrailingyoutobesurethat theRevdidn'tcomebackandfinishyouoff,"hesnarledasthesparkle diedoutofhiseyes.“Youwentto hisplaceanddidn'tcomeoutforan hourortwo.Whenyoudid,itwasclearthatsomethingwaswrong,given thespeedwithwhichthedark-eyedonepeeledoutontothestreet."

  “AndfromthatyoudeterminedIsleptwithhim?”

  “Areyoudenyingit?”

  “Whatdoesitmatter?”

  “Becausethisishowheworks,Ruby.I'veseenittimeandtime again.Hedestroysthoseclosesttohim,”hesaid,willingmetoread betweenthelines.WhenIdidn't,hediditforme."Ibelieveyou'vehad thepleasureofmeetingSophie.”

  “Yeah,thougha'pleasure'ishardlywhatIwouldcallit,andjust whatareyougettingatthere?”Igrowled,notlikingthedirectionour conversationwastaking."SophiewasadamnheadcaseasfarasI'm concerned.Shewasawell-containedsociopath,andIwouldknow.I've metmorethanmyfairshareofthemoverthepastyearorso.”

  “Yes,shecertainlywas,”hechimed,scratchingthesideofhisface wherehisfiveo'clockshadowlurked."Iwonderhowshegottobelike that.”

  “AreyoutryingtotellmethatSeanisthereasonforherbat-shit crazystatus?”Iasked,nearlychokingonthewords."Noway.Nooooway isthattrue.Thereareamillionreasonswhythatgirlcouldhavemelted downoverthecenturies,andthat'sassumingthatsheresembledahuman beingatsomepoint,whichI highlydoubtistrue.”

  Heshruggedambivalentlywhilehestaredmedown.

  “Areyouwillingtobetyoursanityonthat?Your life?”

  “I'vebetmylifeonless,”Ireplied,feigningindifference―butI wasfullofit.Bothhiswordsandenergywerepenetratingme,chewing awayatmybravadoandeatingthroughmydefensivefaçade.Iwas startingtodoubtSean,andperhapsrightfullyso.Hewouldnevertalk abouthispast.Maybetherewasareallygoodreasonforthatavoidant behavior.MaybeIreallydidn'twanttoknowwhohewas.Orwhohehad oncebeen.

  “Well,ifyoukeepheadingdownthepathyouareon,Icanassure youthatit'llonlyendoneway,Ruby―withheartache,destruction,and death,”hewarned,hisvoiceassoftandchillingasahauntingtune.

  “Secretskill,Ruby,andnotjustpeople―relationshipstoo,especially whenthosesecretscan'tstayhiddenawayforever.Lighteventuallyfalls oneventhedarkestofcorners.”

  Andwithhiswords,IfeltthelastofmyresolvetodefendSeanslip away.Gavinwasright,oratleasthesuremademefeelthatway.Mylife wasn'theadedinapositivedirection,anditwaslikelythatSean's involvementwasn'timprovingthatfact.

  “Ihavetogo,”Iwhispered,needingspaceandairandawayto escapethesinkingfeelinginmychest.Iturnedawayfromhim,heading backintotown,whenhecalledaftermeonelasttime.

  “Ruby?There'sonemorething,”hesaid,soundingoddlysatisfied withhimself.“Yournewhouse-guests...I'dkeepmyeyesonthosethree.

  Somethingaboutthemjustdoesn't feelrighttome.I'msureyoucan senseitaswell.”

  AllIcouldsensewasimpendingdoomandanoveralluneasiness thatIwanteddesperatelytoescape.Itookoffrunningthroughtown, headedhometofindCooper.Ineededtofigureoutwhatallthis enigmaticdouble-talkmeantandwhatthehellIshoulddowithit.

  Unfortunatelyforme,Cooperwasn'tthemostobjectivewalltobounce thingsoffofwhenitcametocertaintopicsofconversation.Hewasnota fanoftheUKthreesome,afacthehadmadeabundantlyclear,norwashe abigSeansupporter.IfI'dgonerunninginthereflippingoutaboutboth, hewouldhavebeenalltoohappytogetonboardwithGavin's observations,and,thoughapartofmeseemedtocravethat,another foughtferventlyagainstit.Ididnotwanttobelievehiswords,truthor not.

  Evenifmydenialmeantmydemise.

  *

  “Ruby,”CoopergrowledasIwalkedintheapartmentdoor.“So goodofyoutoactuallyjoinus.Weneedafamilyhuddle. Now.”

  BeforeI'devenmadeittwofeetinthedoor,Iwaswhiskedawayto mybedroombymyelbowandploppeddownonmybed.Cooperwas pissed.

  “Whatthefuckareyoudoingleavingtheseassclownswithmeall day?I'mnotagoddamnbabysitter,Ruby.Youwantedtokeepthem.

  You'regoingtohelpmedealwiththem.Theycan'tjusthangoutallday doingGodknowswhatintown.Istilldon'ttrustthemandneithershould you.I'mgoingtohavetokeeptabsonthem,andIamsonotdoingthat alone.”

  “Wecanhearyou,youbloodywanker,”Alistairshoutedfromthe livingroom.

  “Iknowyoucanfuckinghearme,dickhead.That'sthepoint.And thisisAmerica―tryinsultingmeinawaythatdoesn'trequire translation.”

  “Awankeriskindalikeadouche―”IvolunteeredbeforeIwascut offformyefforts.

  “I knowwhatafuckingwankeris,Ruby,thankyouverymuch.”

  “Right.Sorry,”Ireplied,wincingslightly.Hewaswickedangry.“I didn'tmeantobegoneforeverorstickyouwiththem,but...”

  “Butwhat,Ruby?”

  “Ihadtogotowork,andthensomethingelsecameup,andIhadto dealwiththat.”

  “Whatcameup?”hepressed,leaningtowardme.

  “Nothingcrazy,”Isaidhesitantly,tryingtostall.“Iranintothatold guy,Gavin,intown.Youknow,theonethatleftmethatnote?Icouldn't seemtoduckoutofourconversationpolitely.I'msorry.Whatdoyou wantmetodowiththeboysfromnowon?Takethemtotheshopwith me?HavethemsayridiculousthingstoPeytatocheerherup?”

  “No!”heroared.“Idon'twantthemanywherenearher.”

  “Iwasjoking,Cooper.OfcourseI'mnotgoingtobringthemaround her.”

  “Good,”hebarked,staringmedown.Ihalfexpectedhiseyestoturn thatfamiliarshadeofblackthatbelongedtoSeanwhenhewasinsimilar humor.“Theyneedtomoveout,Ruby.There'sjustnowayaroundthat.

  EvenifIthoughttheywereontheupandup,there'snoroomhere,and therearetoomanypeoplethatwouldbeendangeredifsomethinggoes awry.IknowyouknowI'mrightaboutthis."

  Isighed,notwantingtodiscussthematter.

  “Okay,butIdon'twantyourunningthemoutoftown.Notyet.I knowyoudon'tbelievetheirintentionsarepure,butyoualsoknowthatI haveawayofknowingthosekindsofthings.Idon'tgetanythingfrom themthatleadsmetobelievethatthey'regoingtodoanythingotherthan annoytheshitoutofyouandtakeovermythirdfloor,"Iargued.“The bathroomsituationmightgetsketchyheresoon,butI'vedealtwithyou.I candealwiththemtoo.”

  Fine,”hesaid,turningonhisheelstostalkoutofmyroom.“Butwe arestillgoingapartmenthuntingtomorrow.Ihopetheseassholeshave money.And,yes,Alice,Iknowyoucanstillhearme."

  Hehadalreadyconjuredupinsultingpetnamesforthem.Icouldn't tellifthatwasgoodorbad.

  “Butthenhowwillwekeepaneyeonthemiftheymoveout?”I asked,feelinglikeweweregoingincircles.

  “IguessIwillhavetogowiththem,”hemumbled,clearlyunhappy withthatreality.“You,however,willbestayinghere.Farawayfrom them.
"

  “Um...didn'tyoujusttellmethatyouweren'tgoingtobabysitthem onyourown?Imaybeblonde,Cooper,butthisisgettingconfusingeven bybrunettestandards."

  “Iknow,”hesnarled,hiseyesflaringgold.“Youaregoingtostay herebecausethatiswhat'sbest."Heshotmeaglancethatnearlyseared myflesh.“Idon'twantyouaroundthem.AmIunderstood?”

  Andthenithitme.Cooperwaspissedbecausehehadnochoicebut tobabysittheboys.Icouldn'tdothejobbecauseofmylack-of-Scarlet status.Hewastornbetweenwantingtopunishmeandwantingtokeep mealive.

  “Doyouwantmetosendthemaway?”Iaskedsheepishly.

  “Yes,”hesnapped,“butIknowthat,forwhateverreason,you're convincedtheyneedtostay.I'llplayalongwiththatplanfornow,butI swearonallthat'sholy,onescrew-upandthey'redead.Notsentaway.

  Justdead."

  “IwishIcouldexplainittoyou,Cooper...”

  “I'minnomoodtohearitevenifyoucould,Ruby.”

  Ruby―notRubes.ThingswereworsethanIhadthought.

  “Okay.Nottonight,”Isaidsoftly,thinkingofsomethingelseI neededtotalktohimaboutthathewasn'tgoingtobehappytohear.

  “Coop?There'ssomethingelse,”Iadmittedquietly,notwantingtoget intothewholeMattydeal.

  “Doesitinvolveanythinglife-threatening?”heasked,rubbinghis forehead.

  “Um...no.”

  “IsitaboutP?”

  “No.”

  “Great.Itcanwaitthen.Theseguysaresuckingawaymywillto liveatanobscenerate.Ican'tdealwithanyotherissuestoday."

  Withoutanotherwordtome,hestalkedintothelivingroomand orderedtheboysupstairs,threateningthemwithbodilyharmanddeathif heheardthemrouseatallbeforemorning.Alistairstartedtocomplain aboutbeinghungrybutseemedtothinkbetterofitwhenCooperbegan growlingathim.Iwatchedthethreeofthemdisappearfrommyhome beforeCooperslammedthedoorbehindthem,waitingtoheartheir footstepsascendtotheloftabove.Onceheseemedsatisfiedthatthey werewheretheyshouldbe,hewalkeddownthehalltohisroomand closedthedoor.Hedidn'teventossmeanotherglance.